Megan ByrneCredit Crunch Couture
November 16th 2008 07:49
Fashionistas around the world are in turmoil. Having maxed out their credit cards for this summer’s must-haves (or winter’s must-haves, if you’re from up north), they head off to work looking fabulous only to discover that although they possess the highly desirable skill of wearing a bright-yellow balloon skirt with considerable panache, their assistance is no longer required, thanks to another blinding trend – job cuts.
They arrive home before at 10am to find the bill for the ridiculous skirt on their front doorsteps. Unable to pay this week, next week, or the week after, the poor Fashionistas soon find themselves on the streets. They now face a considerable crisis: how on earth are they going to buy next season’s designs?
In the absence of capital for couture it is time to embrace a new trend, pioneered by the occasionally-brilliant mind of Mr Ben Stiller: Derelicte.
Subscribe to this style and the grime from your time on the street becomes your greatest accessory; fraying fabric adds texture and movement; and torn and worn patches are easily repaired with this season’s new must-have: the safety pin. Punk rockers pinned them in the seventies, Liz Hurley was wrapped up in them in the nineties, and now they are poised to puncture the fashion world again.
Style tips are easy to find: simply head down to your local 44-gallon-drum fire, and warm your hands with the fingerless-gloved fashion mavens who coined the style with their lack of coinage. Once you’ve let down your greasy split-ends and had a few sips of cheap whisky you’ll rediscover your inner inability to care for colour, and greet the grey with glee.
Bleak is the new black.
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