Megan ByrneFascinator? NO!
October 17th 2008 04:44
The Victorian Spring Racing Carnival kicked off last weekend with Caulfield Guineas Day, and I have to say, I'm already alarmed at the number of women who still insist on wearing fascinators.
Let's be clear on this. You are a lady - not a bird. Piling a phenomenal amount of feathers onto your head is not glamorous, it's ridiculous.
This woman looks like she has a quail sleeping on her head.
And don't even get me started on these two:
Just imagine them without the fascinators for a moment, and you will see I'm right. Without them, they look polished. With them, they look absurd.
The only person I've ever seen who comes close to looking good in a fascinator was Miranda Kerr at Emirates Doncaster Day earlier this year. But this is only because the rest of her looks so ladylike, that it detracts from the spears on her head.
If she had poked out her date Orlando Bloom's eyes with those quills, there would have been many a girl crying "murder".
And speaking of Orlando Bloom's former girlfriends, will someone please tell Kate Bosworth that this headress is not becoming.
So please ladies, if you were planning on wearing one of these monstrosities to the Caulfield Cup this weekend, the Melbourne Cup, Derby Day, or any other racing event in the rest of your life, think again.
Hats are so much more glamorous - and they'll stop you getting facial melanomas that might see you wearing your bum on your nose.
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